Its late now darling so am closing the house for the night, dogs out for a few mins in garden. Having to watch for the baby birds cos Sam even though 13 years thinks he should run after them, barbaric little so and so. Jonti wants to be outside all of the time. !!YOU SHOULD BE HERE!!

Oh I miss you so much darling, its so lonely and sad but I get through a day at a time, minutes sometimes, its the only way for me now. If only ????? I love you my sweet husband Ian forever x x x 

Hello my darling Ian, I have been busy trying to catch up with garden etc. I spend so much time with appointments at hospital and now it Leicester so travel as well. I hope and trust that you are close to me as I am rather scared of late as it goes on and on but hope soon they will let me know what will happen. I miss you my sweet man, I love you so much and cannot come to terms even after all this time with you being gone, its strange because so much of me feels as if I died as well on that Thursday night. I miss certain feelings, happiness joy etc. I never expect but just to feel a little peace would be great so if you can pass a bit on to me I would be so thankful. I will always love you Ian, special in all ways you and I and I cannot ever imagine anything different.

x x x  x x x x x x x x x  x x x x x x 

Time is moving But I stand still

A vision of life beyond my will

Outside the world But I still live

A life without meaning nothing to give

Pictures of reality but I cannot see

Beauty in humanity suffering to be.

Created by God I'm not so sure

Progression of soul now and nevermore

x x x x x x x xVAHx x x x x x x x x x x

with

Our Love

from

Vanessa Family

xoxo

13-03-1951 -- 20-05-2004

.4th Angel Anniversary.

+++++++++++++++++

Hello darling, wow where as l this time gone? I feel at times as if you have only just taken the dogs out for a walk, but then I feel you have been missing for years, and of course you have. The days pass and all blend within one another for each day is the same to me, I go to the hospital and that is all so normal now as well, but never know what day it is unless its very important that I write it down. I have to go back to Leicester hospital next week as they have the better heart facility and I will find out then just what they intend to do, I know you will be close to me at that time if possible and I will of course be talking to you as always. Gosh Ian my love can it really be four years since we shared that last evening? your chess set I look at and see you smiling because you beat the electronic one twice that night, you was so darn pleased with yourself, how I wish you had been so much more pleased with living to old age. You have litte benny with you now and Will please give them a cuddle for me and tell them how I miss them so much, Sam will be joinng you all soon as well bless him, I hate to think what I will do then as Jonti is not the cuddly sort as you know. I miss your cuddles darling, you know I have not had a cuddle since that last day and sometimes I long for an arm around me just to feel human contact I guess, its so lonely living like this and at times its despairing to the point that I want to follow you. Oh yes I do understand how you must have felt now and I am so sorry you suffered such deep sadness my love, you did not deserve it,but no one does really. I have been sitting at this computer for hours my head just goes vacant and then off into memory lane again. I listen to the songs we loved and then your voice comes on and its as if I have died as well as you because I have no appetite for life any longer.

I found two baby gold finches they had fallen somehow and althogh alive the were close to death, I made them comfortable and warm and they started chirping, I was going to take them to a place in Isham but they died before I could get them there and I was so sad, why? so much work for the parents for such  brief time of life, it made me angry and hurt, and then I look at what is happening with all the world and I wonder how long it can go on. I think you are the lucky one for now you will have entered heaven and will be at peace I pray. Look down on us mere mortals and send some love and peace of mind please darling.

I love you and miss you so very much. I pray that God Blesses you with eternal rest. Sleep now with the angels my one true love Ian. You are woven so deeply into my heart and soul that we can never truly be seperated so rest until we meet again my darling. x x x

Ian John Haslett

13/03/1951 - 20/05/2004

When you were born, an angel smiled,

As you became a child, an angel sat on your shoulder

When you became an adult, an angel held your hand

As you grew older, an angel walked down the road with you,

And, when you died, another angel got his wings.

I miss you so much darling, I will love you forever and never understand the emptiness I feel without you here. Four years is such a long time to talk to a memory standing next to me.

I will love and miss you forever my darling Ian x x x  

If I should ever leave you whom I love
To go along the Silent Way, grieve not,
Nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk
Of me as if I were beside you there.
(I'd come-I'd come, could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief be barriers?)
And when you hear a song or see a bird
I loved, please do not let the thought of me
Be sad .... For I am loving you just as
I always have ... You were so good, to me!
There are so many things I wanted still
To do --- so many things to say to you ...
Remember that I did not fear ... It was
Just leaving you that was so hard to face ...
We cannot see Beyond.. But this I know:
I loved you so - 'twas heaven here with you!

I miss you so much my sweet Ian - four years now and still it feels so bad. I will always love you darling x x

God Bless you and your Family Ian

Because I had to leave you for a little while
please do not grieve and shed wild tears
and hug your sorrow to you through the years.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
But start out bravely with a gallant smile;
And for my sake and in my name
live on and do all things the same,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Feed not your loneliness on empty days,
but fill each waking hour in useful ways,
Reach out your hand in comfort and in cheer
And I in turn will comfort you and hold you near;
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
And never, never be afraid to die,
For I am waiting for you with so much love,

Ian  x x x

IAN...your presence and love is more desired than....
The first rays of sunlight that fall upon the earth after a dark night,the first nuzzle of a mother's lips on her newborn baby.The revitalizing kiss of heavy dew on the desert plants..the warmth of a roaring fire during the isolation of a raging blizzard....Oh darling I miss you so much more than words can ever say.

I love you so my Ian x x